i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize