As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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