i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
