Pappa wants mamma naked
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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