We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
