its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
