why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
