Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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