I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
