Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
