don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
