But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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