Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Brb crying the tears of my youth
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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