She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
