THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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