is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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