I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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