I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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