But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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