Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
