East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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