Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
