what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
