Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
