mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
