if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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