I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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