JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
