the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
