i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize