Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize