Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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