This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
