i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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