Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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