it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
