And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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