Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
