I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
