In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
