Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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