super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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