Whod you bang
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
