I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
