We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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