just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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