i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize