garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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