I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
