i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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