Jerry, you need to find god
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
