And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I got inside last night via doggy door
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
