RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
