at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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