It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
