I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
