I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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