Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
