I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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