i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
