I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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