Who did Billy Mays play for?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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