She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
