you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize